I was recently listening to a podcast where men were discussing their mental health. I am not a regular subscriber, but I enjoy the episodes I’ve listened to where they discuss the relationship between masculinity and mental health. At the beginning of each episode, the hosts introduce themselves and their guest. On one clip I saw online, one of the hosts, JB, asked everyone to introduce themselves by answering the question, “Who am I?” The host went on to say, “I am JB and I am an amalgamation of my trauma responses.”
Whew! I had so many reactions to this introduction. Let’s break down his response. What is trauma? What is a trauma response?
Defining Trauma
“Trauma is a pervasive problem. It results from exposure to an incident or series of events that are emotionally disturbing or life-threatening with lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, and/or spiritual well-being.”1 Traumatic events can include natural disasters, sexual assault, mental health crises, and domestic violence.
ACES
Traumatic events occurring between the ages of 0 to 17 may fall into the category of adverse childhood experiences (ACES). About 61% of adults reported experiencing one ACE before the age of 18. Events may include experiencing or witnessing violence, abuse, or neglect, or growing up in a household with substance use or mental health problems. ACES can contribute to mental health concerns and impact physical health outcomes.2
Want to know if you’ve experience ACES? Access the questionnaire here.
Trauma on TikTok
I see trauma discussions often on TikTok and Instagram. I don’t know if it’s my algorithm, but it appears to be discussed more often (anecdotally). People seem to feel more comfortable identifying their traumas and the associated trauma responses. A few years ago, the conversation around being “triggered” was common. The conversation has since morphed into labeling and recognizing trauma.
Labels are powerful
Labels and definitions can be powerful. Knowing that something that happened to us has a name and a definition can be validating. Labeling our experiences as trauma can help us realize we are not alone and that our reactions to trauma are normal and expected.
Trauma Responses
There are a variety of ways we may respond to trauma. As the podcaster above mentioned, there can be an “amalgamation” of responses. You may have heard of fight, flight, and freeze responses (“fawn” is another discussed response but is in a different category since it is not a physiological response). Our brain’s main job is to keep us safe and alive. Our brain is consistently working to maintain homeostasis and protect us. When something in our environment is threatening, like being chased by a bear, we may experience:
· Fight – we may react by attempting to fight the bear
· Flight – we may react by running from the bear
· Freeze – we may react by freezing in place
These are normal and expected responses to trauma. We can experience these in a variety of ways after a trauma. Let’s look at another example:
Jessamyn experienced sexual assault while in college. Since then, she has become more avoidant of men. She avoids situations in which she will be alone with a man, has requested a female doctor, and has few male friends. Jessamyn is no longer interested in dating and does not trust men. She notes the thought, “all men are bad.”
Our brains want to protect us and keep us safe. Jessamyn’s brain is working to make sure that an assault never happens again. To do this, Jessamyn’s brain has become avoidant of potential danger (men) and attempts to keep her away from any potential harm (an example of the flight response). This is a natural cause and effect reaction. This reaction starts to become more problematic when it impacts Jessamyn’s daily life and functioning. If Jessamyn is always on alert, scanning the environment for threats and unable to relax, her brain is no longer helpful. It is activated in a way where any male is seen as a potential threat. For our brains, it is easier to protect us by assuming that all men are threats rather than taking the risk of getting to know each male we encounter and seeing if they will hurt us. But how does this impact Jessamyn long-term? What if Jessamyn desires a romantic relationship in the future?
Pathologizing Ourselves
What didn’t sit well with me about the podcaster’s introduction is that he introduced his trauma responses as part of who he is. While this may not have been the intention, it kept going through my mind. Defining ourselves by our trauma is pathologizing a normal human response. If we are hurt (trauma) our brain reacts (trauma response) to protect us. This is not something unique or bad. It means our brain is fighting for us. We are more than how we respond to trauma. In the moment, our brains and bodies often react before we feel like we have a choice in the matter. We may look back and not recognize ourselves in how we responded to a traumatic event in the moment.
Labeling events as trauma, recognizing ACES, and acknowledging trauma responses can be helpful and crucial to our healing. However, I would want to ask the podcaster more questions. Who are you outside of the trauma? Who are you outside of what has happened to you? Trauma may be a part of our story but does not have to be the entire story. We each carry unique traits and strengths.
We are more than what we experience and how we respond.
3See footnotes for further information.4
Not everyone has PTSD after a trauma - https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/ptsd/why-do-some-people-get-ptsd-not-others